


Overload

by alutea



Series: Infinite Jest: Third Time Will Be the Charm, Maybe [5]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Essays, Infinite Jest - Freeform, Other, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:47:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27369772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alutea/pseuds/alutea
Summary: I cheat and ask the Internet a question
Relationships: David Foster Wallace's brilliant mind/Reader
Series: Infinite Jest: Third Time Will Be the Charm, Maybe [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1991284





	Overload

Chapter 4 - 9 May - Year of the Depend Adult Undergarment

  * Note to self: Hal has another older brother called Mario with whom he shares a dorm room.



That makes two brothers, the other being Orin, the voice on the phone:

> 'I want to tell you,' the voice on the phone said. 'My head is filled with things to say.'
> 
> 'I don't mind,' Hal said softly. 'I could wait forever.'  
> 

This short conversation feels like the first real connection to appear in the book, and it's a moving one. Followed shortly thereafter by a dash of cold water when Mario asks who it is and Hal replies, "No one you know, I don't think."

Okaaay.

Since it's such a short chapter, I suppose now would be a good time to admit I had to look up what the hell the chapter titles mean. Turns out they're subsidized years.

...

...

WHAT THE HELL.

I laughed, and then I cried. The first out loud, the second mentally. 

Think of the implications. On every form you fill out, instead of using something like 11/3/2020, it'd be 11/3/Year of the Depend Adult Undergarment. (Unless you're legally allowed to use the abbreviated form—but then what happens if two brands/products have the same initials?) I mean, for brand awareness there's probably nothing that could beat it. But if the awareness is so saturated that "all attention is good attention" no longer applies, wouldn't you be shooting yourself in the foot? Would there come a point at which people never ever want to see _those fucking words_ again, maybe even flinch when they encounter the actual products?

And who would come up with these horrible names, anyway?

But on the other hand, I wonder how much "subsidization" is needed to make it worth it to overhaul government teleputer, etc., systems to accommodate non-numeric, non-predicable years. Never underestimate the cost of inefficient bureaucracy.

But on the other other hand, maybe some products would see a nostalgic resurgence in later years, like "Now that we're in the Year of Trump (4), I'm really missing me some Depend Adult Undergarment."

I'm wondering if that thought's going to seem even the least amusing in a few days' time. Oh, holy howling fantods.


End file.
